Struggles in my Ambassadorial Role

I'm getting old. And, I'm feeling it.

I'm a manager of the Front End of a supermarket. I work with a team of about 50 cashiers and baggers and cart pushers.

And, of course, I encounter hundreds of the store's customers on a weekly basis.

I work for a company that is local, and relatively small, but has approximately 300 employees in total.

I'm second manager of the Front End. My immediate boss is in his late 20s and is very efficient. Clearly he's being groomed for greater things by the store's owners...if he chooses that.

As a result, the duties of the Front End are being expanded and my job is also expanding.

I think all of this is good for the store and I'm happy for my boss and friend as he climbs the organizational ladder.

However, as I made clear on the A Layman's Log blog, my intention in holding this job is to serve as an ambassador of the Kingdom of God.

I started out at the store as a part time bagger and gladly accepted invitations to greater participation in the work of the store as they were offered to me, including the invitation to a lower managerial position and, eventually, even to my current position.

I've made it clear that I won't accept any further promotions and, I think, the owners of the store accept that, although we are always joking and smiling when we have those conversations.

But, in a sense, my role at the store is being expanded, even though there's no raise in compensation and no change in title.

And, as I said when I began this post, I'm getting old and feeling it.

The issue is that what I see as my real job is suffering. Often, I don't have the time or energy to be a Kingdom Ambassador. I find myself passing on opportunities to do work  for the Kingdom so I can manage the Front End, and I'm tired.

--------------------

Two thoughts:

1. I can make adjustments to my job...but not at the moment. I can't afford to go part time on the store job until next year. If I get really desperate, I can try to ask for fewer hours, though I doubt that will make much difference to the real problem, which is my shortcomings as a Kingdom ambassador.

2. I'm frustrated that, it seems to me, I'm forced to live this life without support or community.

CGGC denominational leadership, has been encouraging its people to live the life I'm living, but, as far as I can tell, it's all talk and no walk.

No doubt, others in the body are living this life as well. I find the life challenging, all-consuming, even.

I'd love to hear from those people. I'd love support them and share the walk with them.

--------------------

I'm chided, from time to time, because I don't make practical suggestions about how the truths I proclaim might be put into action.

I reply to that criticism in two ways.

First, my gift is not to implement these truths. I'm not good at that. Others are gifted by the Spirit to lead implementation. Not me. (There's a whole blog worth of posts here.)

Second, my calling and passion is to preach repentance. The Word is clear that the first act in implementing change is a dramatic, and often traumatic, moment of commitment to a new way and the sorrow filled turn from an old and fallen way.

All of my practicality is connected to that call.

----------

However, I'll attempt to be practical here, not from my gift, but from my experience.

Back in the day, my Conference supported the work of pastors by providing Pastoral Care Worker.

Here's my suggestion:

The General Conference and Regions of the CGGC should provide, well, uh, Ambassadorial Care Workers to support and create community our people who are living the so-called doctrine of the Priesthood of all Believers.