Yesterday I told my boss that I intend to give up my full-time position at the store and work half time...beginning in July. (I'd told him previously that I'm taking off the whole month of June.)
Working where I work, in this small company (about 300 employees, but family owned) is different; I'd even say unique.
It's very much normal within this work culture for an employee to tell the company that s/he is changing their work status from full-time to part-time. I even told my boss the number of hours I'll work. That number might be tweaked slightly, but my desire will be honored.
A few thoughts.
First, as I was telling my boss that I planned to cut back, I found myself thinking, "This is me formally announcing that I am old." I'm about to become a geezer working a part-time job! That was an important moment for me. And, not a happy one.
Second, my boss assured me that I will still be permitted to function as a part of the management team but that someone who is a full-time employee will be put in my current position, i.e., I will be demoted. I knew that. I'm fine with it. I understood that I was requesting a demotion.
Third, I'm saddened to lose this position of authority because I enjoyed that part of this job. After I step down, I will have less freedom to choose what I do and how I do it on the job.
Also, and this seems important to me, because I always go out of my way to function as a servant of everyone on the job, the fact that I have a fairly high management position gives my testimony more meaning, more punch. I'll lose that sense of dichotomy about my role. I enjoy having the ability to possess the position of a leader, yet to choose to live as a servant. I'll still have that, of course, but to a lesser degree.
Fourth, on the other hand, I'm relieved and feel released in that the job I had, along with the authority came with a high degree of responsibility. While I'm still in the current job, there's a real struggle for me between the need to do the manager job well and, at the same time, to focus on what I consider to be my real job...to be an ambassador of the Kingdom of God. Too often, I am obligated to be the efficient manager first and Kingdom ambassador second. With the reduced responsibility, I should be able to do my real, ambassador, job better.
Finally, physically, the move was necessary. Currently, I work overtime almost every week, on a concrete floor. The work can be more strenuous than you might imagine. Since I began working in the store, I've had plantar fasciitis in both feet. I'm currently in physical therapy for it and have had two cortisone shots in my right foot.
Also, I struggle with vertigo. I've undergone all of the standard medical tests to determine the cause without an explanation for the symptoms. My doctor's two best guesses are that its a type of a migraine or that it's a type of seizure. In any event, if I push myself physically, the vertigo rolls in and I have to shut down.
Between the two ailments, it's impossible for me to do this job full-time.
So, in a few months, I'll be cutting back on my time on the job and focusing more intensely on the ambassador thing when I'm there.
I'm hopeful that this will work out, but I know enough now to know that you never really know until you're there.
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